Java vs. Javascript

I've heard a couple of people confuse Java and Javascript lately on the internet, and as a part of the internet, I feel the need to do my part to set the record straight, not from a technical perspective, but hopefully in a way that's a little easier to remember. Here we go:

Java is the Watchmen, Javascript is the Avengers.

Javascript is the kid who practices air hockey and competes in tournaments. Java is the kid who's like, "Hey man, wanna play some airhockey?"



Java is Canada (perhaps a little boring, but steady and dependable), Javascript is America (a little less dependable, but wild and crazy and anything goes)

Java is Morgan Freeman, Javascript is Samuel L. Jackson

Java is an iPhone, Javascript is an Android phone (see what I did there?)

Java is the oldest child, Javascript is the youngest

Java is Mick Jager, Javascript is Carly Rae Jepsen

Java is a grenade launcher, Javascript is a laser gun that breaks down sometimes

Java is a stocking cap, Javascript is a Liberty hat

Java is Abe Lincoln, Javascript is Joe Biden.

I trust I've made my point.